Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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