I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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