And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize