At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize