just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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