So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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