"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
