i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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