dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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