I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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