is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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