I wanna bring you to show and tell
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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