I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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