I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
