It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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