I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
