goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize