A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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