at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize
