I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You're a waste of cheezeits
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
