How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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