So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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