MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
