Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
