Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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