I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
