Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
