yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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