Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
