If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Randomize