Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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