Having a random hookup so left but love u
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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