Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
