I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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