Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Sext me about skeletons
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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