this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
