ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
