Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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