Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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