I hate your face
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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