I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Randomize
