I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize
