this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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