tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize