I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
