Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
