I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
