dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
