look no pants
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
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