I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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