Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
