you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
