I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
