in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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