that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
