I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
