babies were throwing up all over the place
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
