I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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