I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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