don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
