its not stalking. its research.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
