Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
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