you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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