your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
