WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
