Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
tell me about the fingering
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