we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
