3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize