Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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